Oogway: There are no accidents.
Po: You wanna get somethin’ to eat?
Shifu: [sighing] … Yeah.
Po: [serving a noodle bowl to a customer into which he accidentally pitched a throwing star] Careful, that soup is… sharp!
Po: There is no charge for awesomeness… or attractiveness.
Tai Lung: You… you’re just a big… fat… panda!
Po: I’m not a big fat panda. I’m *the* big fat panda.
Tai Lung: The Wuxi finger hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You’re bluffing. You’re bluffing! Shifu didn’t teach you that.
Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!
Oogway: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.
Po: It is said that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!
Mr. Ping: We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.
Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: Then I guess my body doesn’t know I’m the Dragon Warrior yet. It’s gonna take a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.
Tigress: [seeing Po bounce down the palace steps] If he’s smart, he won’t come back up those steps.
Monkey: But he will.
Viper: He’s not gonna quit, is he?
Mantis: He’s not gonna quit bouncing, I’ll tell you that.
Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.
Monkey: Or even see his toes.
Po: The Furious Five! You look a lot bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You’re about the same.
Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at – Ow!
Viper: Are you ready?
Po: I was born read…
[Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head]
Viper: I’m sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.
Po: That was awesome! Let’s go again!
Shifu: Po, you’re alive… or we’re both dead.
Mantis: Sorry, it’s just hard to find the right nerve centers under all this…
Mantis: Fur. I was gonna say fur.
Po: Sure you were.
Tai Lung: But he’s a panda!
Tai Lung: You’re a panda!
Shifu: One must first master the highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.
Po: Someone like me?
Shifu: Yes! Look at you! This fat butt-
[he whacks Po on his butt]
Shifu: ..Flabby arms-
[he hits Po on his arm]
Po: Those are sensitive in the flabby parts…
Shifu: And this ridiculous belly!
Shifu: And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!
Po: Now wait a minute, that was a little uncalled for-
Shifu: Don’t stand that close, I can smell your breath.
Po: Listen, Oogway said that I was-
[Shifu grabs his finger and he gasps]
Po: The Wuxi finger hold? No no, the Wuxi finger hold!
Shifu: Oh-hoho, you know this hold?
Po: Developed by Master Wuxi in the 3rd dynasty, yes!
Shifu: Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinkie?
Po: [gasps] No no no no!
Shifu: You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.
Po: Okay.. Okay take it easy..
[Po falls to his knees]
Shifu: Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I’m through, I promise you, you’re going to wish he hadn’t! Are we clear?
Po: Oh, yeah! We’re clear, we’re clear, we’re so clear!
Shifu: I can’t wait to get started.
Oogway: [walking towards Po] Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!
Po: [Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth] Oh! Is that what this is? I’m so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!
Zeng: [watching Tai-Lung break out of his prison restraints] We’re dead. So very, very dead.
Tai Lung: What are you going to do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don’t tempt me.
Po: I just ate, so I’m still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.
Shifu: Believe me, citizens, you have not seen anything yet!
Po: I know!
Shifu: [intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon.] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Watch me!
[tries to run around Shifu]
Po: Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can’t even beat you to the stairs!
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
[pokes Po in his stomach]
Po: You don’t believe that!
[Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway’s stick]
Po: You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you’ve been trying to get rid of me!
[Shifu knocks him to the ground]
Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: You’re not my master. And I’m not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn’t you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because everytime you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!
Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!
Shifu: I don’t know!
Shifu: I don’t know.
Po: [sighs and frowns sadly] That’s what I thought.
Shifu: But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become the Dragon Warrior?
Oogway: I don’t know.
Po: No! The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!
Po: [whispering to the urn] Hello?
Shifu: [from behind Po] Have you finished sight-seeing?
Po: [stunned, thinking the voice had come from the urn] Sorry, I should’ve come to see you first.
Shifu: My patience is wearing thin.
Po: Oh, well, I mean it’s not like you were going anywhere.
Shifu: Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: The panda?
Shifu: Yes, the panda!
Tigress: Master, please!
[pushes chair out]
Tigress: Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you’ve trained us for!
Shifu: No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his!
[points at Po, then realizes he’s not there]
Shifu: Where’d he go?